Leave it to professionals
Mar 18, 2023
woops-a-daisy pic.twitter.com/7nYxihmAA4
— I,Hypocrite (@lporiginalg) March 13, 2023
Was the road even closed? That tree could have smashed into a car; injuring or killing people!
woops-a-daisy pic.twitter.com/7nYxihmAA4
— I,Hypocrite (@lporiginalg) March 13, 2023
Was the road even closed? That tree could have smashed into a car; injuring or killing people!
Yes, all my best marketing plans consist of a list of demands.
— Owen Gregorian (@OwenGregorian) March 14, 2023
This old woman has a list of 35 must-have requirements for a man! The unintended humor starts early: she wants to get married and have a baby. I'm sure there are millions of men out there who can't wait to start a family with this lovely 42-year-old.
Very impressive delivery service:
A second pigeon wearing a tiny makeshift backpack presumably meant for smuggling drugs has been found at a corrections facility in Abbotsford, B.C., nearly two months to the day after a bird carrying a package of crystal meth was found at the prison next door.
Officers discovered the latest bird wearing its backpack inside Matsqui Institution during a routine search on the morning of Feb. 27, according to its union. The backpack, possibly made from cut-up jeans, was empty — leading guards to believe the bird might have still been in training.
I wish I would have known this before founding a startup! pic.twitter.com/Bdut3Onq0P
— General Spalding (@robert_spalding) March 4, 2023
Steak night 🔥 pic.twitter.com/mTecJUBO65
— Jason Helmes (@anymanfitness) March 3, 2023
We come to it at last:
Rival otter clans fighting over territory in Singapore. pic.twitter.com/9t35sQH7BW
— Historic Vids (@historyinmemes) March 3, 2023
— Ben (@Ben02076331) February 28, 2023
Not today scumbag, not today. pic.twitter.com/XLDaaXgvru
— Ivan Trumpovic 🇦🇺🇭🇷🇺🇲🇷🇺 (@QualityTweets78) February 23, 2023
It takes a special kind of stupid to punch an animal that weighs 1,000 pounds.
Footage captured the shocking moment an angry camel fatally trampled a man who punched it at a children’s camp in Russia.
The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead:
FYI: This woman works in the Human Resources department of your company.pic.twitter.com/7HB2SwQk3w
— Gonzalo Lira (@GonzaloLira1968) February 17, 2023
Not paying full price for used goods. pic.twitter.com/5xU9acXjWi
— The Laughing Cat (@aaaccc8657) February 15, 2023
Smdh at these transphobic horses. #EquinePrivilege pic.twitter.com/qqkx94HB5h
— Rita Panahi (@RitaPanahi) February 6, 2023
The controversy around this is a reminder that men are NOT ALLOWED to express their preferences.
— Cernovich (@Cernovich) February 6, 2023
I don’t even agree with this, men are complex emotionally.
But the crime of this tweet is being a man and wanting anything.
Instead of being pack mule. https://t.co/r7JHVbXa5p
Yup. Consider the phrase that women utter a lot: BE A MAN! They use that as a wrapper for all sorts of ridiculous female preferences.
Now, try to imagine a scenario where a guy tells a gal: BE A WOMAN!
It's not even an argument of whether the male preferences or standards for women are sensible or not. It's simply outrageous to even consider that women should have to meet any sort of criteria to satisfy men.
So, a basic woman says that she wants the following in a man:
And the basic audience nods in agreement.
A man says that he wants a woman who is:
HOW DARE YOU, YOU MISOGYNISTIC PIG!?!
If you think that the list of female preferences above is silly, then take a look at this:
The best part was when one female stated that she wanted her man to have a $1.5 million Bugatti but she would settle for a $500,000 Ferrari.
We should teach women to not stare!
My, my, my if it isn't the real-world consequences of all those gym ladies clout chasing. 😂🙃 pic.twitter.com/Apr046b0Z6
— Lauren Chen (@TheLaurenChen) February 2, 2023
A local TikTokker was left angry today after she was unable to achieve her goal of drawing attention from men at the gym, who she could then berate on camera and shame publicly on social media.
"These guys are being such jerks," said avid fitness enthusiast and aspiring social media influencer Priscilla Balos. "I need them to give me attention that I don't want so I can then rip them a new one and post the video online about how they're totally creeping on me with all this attention I don't want that they're not giving me like I need them to. Ugh!"
The cat to the snake pic.twitter.com/STj7yLrzej
— Chris Hinkle (@OnlyHinkle) January 28, 2023
The memes write themselves pic.twitter.com/VU4ehZbZ7l
— Astralnaut (@thuleanrevenant) January 24, 2023
Incredible transformation:
Sunday Gunday! From over 560lbs to 239 in less than 2 years. Nothing is impossible, it's never too late, you're never too far gone. Thanks for the inspiration fellas @Cernovich @BowTiedOx @AJA_Cortes @bowtiedwhitebat @Derek_Fitness @dookiebutter100 pic.twitter.com/hCEQ5TOeUI
— Cole Prochaska (@3to1fitnesspro) January 22, 2023
Most of his diet is the same as mine; substitute lean beef for prime rib and new york steak.
Lean beef, chicken, ground turkey, potatoes, rice, carrots, beans, a ton of eggs.
— Cole Prochaska (@3to1fitnesspro) January 23, 2023
Lean proteins + simple carbs + butter = Awesome diet.
In what society is 21 considered underage??????? You’re legally allowed to smoke and drink 💀 pic.twitter.com/pInXhAL8R5
— MGSolidus (@MGSolidusSnake) January 21, 2023
The fact someone would even think of doing this blows my mind🤯 pic.twitter.com/DfhVhZpfsK
— Ross McCulloch (@Rossmac212) January 17, 2023
Police have identified a man killed in an alleged "swarming" attack by eight teenage girls in Toronto last month as Ken Lee. Lee, 59, was pronounced dead in hospital after he was allegedly beaten and stabbed by the group of girls outside a downtown shelter in the early morning hours of Dec. 18, 2022.
[...]A friend of Lee's who saw his alleged attack previously told CBC Toronto the girls had tried to take a liquor bottle from her and Lee had tried to stop them. The lead detective on the case later confirmed that police believe there was an attempted theft — "likely of a liquor bottle" — during the initial phase of the deadly encounter.
The teenage murderers are between 13 and 16 years old. No information about race is provided which means we know.
Sweet potatoes are made of diamonds confirmed? pic.twitter.com/p9eNnxSXbI
— BowTiedMagician | El Mago 🪄 (@BowTiedMagician) January 4, 2023
I used to love going to Rosedale, Southdale, and occasionally, the Galleria, at Christmastime. From the time I was a little boy, they were vast and magical Winter Wonderlands, where children could roam freely and window-shop. I used to wander alone from one end of the mall to the other, with particular attention paid to B. Daltons and Games by James.
OK I surrender. Post your best pit bull memes 😹
— Cernovich (@Cernovich) December 23, 2022
Is this true? ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/Aw7vIegs7P
— 🌞 BowTiedParrotFish | WiFi Money Chadette (@BowTiedPrtFish) December 22, 2022
Yes.
You won't like him when he's hungry:
A man shot a Kentucky Fried Chicken employee Monday evening in St. Louis in a dispute that intensified when the restaurant ran “out of corn,” police say.
No other description in that first sentence. Conclusion: it's a colored man; most likely, black.
The suspect took off from the restaurant after the gunfire. Police described the suspect as a Black man, around 40-50 years of age and thin built with a scruffy beard. He was last seen wearing a blue jean jacket with a gray hood and sleeves.
— Johnny "Meatman" Penso (@JohnnyPenso) December 11, 2022
Now, this is entertainment!
Life is a mix of luck and effort.
— BowTiedBull - Read Pinned Tweet or NGMI (@BowTiedBull) December 8, 2022
Effort alone = you'll make $100,000+ no debate
Luck? It's required to make it *big*. Big being 8+ digits.
Solution: always max effort since you never know when the match is circling your pile of gunpowder
Very true. I've seen the opposite a lot in my life. Many colleagues don't take put in the effort or take risks because the chance of zero payoff or failure is high. The solution isn't to avoid the painful failures but to go through them faster to achieve "good luck".
Map of Chad pic.twitter.com/fd0yYBoDW9
— Terrible Maps (@TerribleMaps) December 6, 2022
Copy that. So stop asking Bull for dating advice guys
— BowTiedPingu (@BowTiedPingu) November 30, 2022
On another note, someone said my MD looks like a dork! Iykyk
Wolves infected with a common parasite are more likely than uninfected animals to lead a pack, according to an analysis of more than 200 North American wolves1. Infected animals are also more likely to leave their home packs and strike out on their own.
The parasite, Toxoplasma gondii, makes its hosts bold — a mechanism that increases its survival.
Fascinating. The scientists were stunned by the findings.
For Meyer, the moral of the story is that parasites can be major players in ecosystems. “Parasites might have a much larger role than anyone generally gives them credit for,” he says.
A $7 rotisserie chicken from Walmart is better than any Turkey I’ve ever eaten.
— Travis Berridge (@theguywhofawkes) November 25, 2022
Yeah, it's low-fat content makes turkey rather tasteless. It goes well as light protein in a sandwich.
Please enjoy 19 seconds of brutal kitten fight in wrestling ring. pic.twitter.com/Zkmtdopzf2
— Giant Military Cats (@giantcat9) October 30, 2022
It’s probably not an accident that no one ever asked me to write an advice column.
gm
— BowTiedMetaverse | Learn the Future (@BowTiedArcticFo) September 28, 2022
my mom always sends me these funny images
So I thought I’d share pic.twitter.com/TnnxHsUCRg
— Darwin Awards (@DarwinAwards_) September 20, 2022
A growing number of men are undergoing a radical and expensive surgery to grow anywhere from three to six inches. The catch: It requires having both your femurs broken https://t.co/zTIKIN5Rme
— GQ Magazine (@GQMagazine) September 15, 2022
Why would men have their femurs broken to increase the size of their ... oh.
My brain read NB as New Brunswick. What? Are people identifying as Canadian provinces, now!?
Mental illness, in tweet form. pic.twitter.com/TpSBpZEJl8
— Nicole Arbour (@NicoleArbour) September 4, 2022
It's a retweet from them and a likely repost from me:
Anyone with these 5 traits will be a multi-millionaire without a Trust Fund and no familial support.
— BowTiedBull - Read Pinned Tweet or NGMI (@BowTiedBull) July 19, 2022
1) delayed gratification
2) willingness to do garbage tasks you hate to win
3) high pain tolerance
4) consistency
5) self awareness
Think of all the perpetually poor people in your life. How many of them possess just that first trait?
“What would you say to influencer who flex”
— pato bwubwubwubwu (@patolovesyou) August 22, 2022
“Go get more Rolex man, I like the oyster one” 🤣🤣
That’s gonna be a hard pass for me. I thought the jeeps coming down the mountain in Telluride were crazy. https://t.co/yWWntL3HrK
— Zach Bitter (@zbitter) August 3, 2022
“They were the smart ones” pic.twitter.com/A0GmkZWoSh
— Alan Roberts (@TheMFingCOO) July 31, 2022
Jarlsberg is one of the best tasting cheeses around and it's healthy!
In a scientific battle of the cheeses, Norwegian researchers said Tuesday that a small daily portion -- 57 grams, or roughly 2 ounces -- of Jarlsberg, which originated in Norway, may help prevent bone thinning from osteopenia and the more severe condition, osteoporosis, without increasing harmful cholesterol.
I'll remember to add a little bit extra in my omelet tomorrow.
🤌🇮🇹 @SeedOilDsrspctr 😅 pic.twitter.com/4tamxkaGe8
— Bruno Crocco (@bruno_crocco) August 2, 2022
American women complaining no one finds them attractive in foreign countries 😂🤣 pic.twitter.com/KFCjjTZVbM
— samirah (@SameeraKhan) July 16, 2022