Up in smoke

The horrible sexists and racists on the Left rejected another super-diverse candidate.

Having dropped out of the presidential race, Elizabeth Warren rode in solitude back to her reservation, having failed to take the land back from the pale faces.

"I am sorry, my people. I have failed," she said somberly, a single tear rolling down her cheek. "The white man still holds our land, and the very trees cry out against them. May Great Spirit grant us another chance in 4 harvests." The Cherokee people looked confused, so she clarified: "That means years according to the Indian talk book I picked up."