Orange Man Bad

CNN has learned to manufacture news in the most cost-effective manner possible:

Strapped for cash and failing in ratings, CNN has discovered an innovative new way to cut costs: simply rerunning articles from a year or two ago and replacing the phrase "Russian collusion" with an updated term, "Ukrainian scandal."

"This is a green, Earth-friendly way to recycle news stories," said a CNN rep. "We have discovered a completely carbon-neutral way to produce indefinitely renewable outrage."