A middle-aged teenager
Nov 24, 2018
His name was Siavash, and he had quite a life story: Born in Iran, the teenager had been forced to flee the Middle Eastern theocracy in mysterious circumstances, and had since managed to cross Europe, with only a younger brother for company.
Having arrived in the UK – it’s not clear how – the duo promptly claimed asylum, declaring themselves to be 15 and 12 years old respectively.
Muslims never lie!
Large numbers of the 668 girls and boys at Stoke High, an under-performing academy in a gritty neighbourhood of Ipswich just south of the city centre, came rapidly to the conclusion that the supposed new boy was not actually a boy at all, but very much a fully-grown man.
At 6ft 1in, he stood head and shoulders over many classmates, while his chin was flecked with stubble.
He also boasted a protruding Adam’s apple and a hairline that, from a certain angle, was starting to recede. In the cold light of day, many suspected he was nearer 30 than 20.
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