When I was coming to terms with the end of my marriage and trying to process the abuse I suffered during it, I always got the same response from those who I reached out to for help: “You’re lucky he doesn’t hit you. Be patient with your husband’s faults.”
Have we really set the bar that low? As if lack of physical assault is enough of a standard by which we measure our relationships. One of the biggest taboos in the Muslim community today is that of domestic violence. Family matters are considered private, which is all well and good until it leads to covering up abuse and violence.
"Covering up abuse and violence"? Has this Muslim woman read the Quran?
Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
Wife-beating is an essential and explicit part of Islam. This point was made clear:
Our imams need to be held accountable as well. I was told “What do you want me to do about it?” and “It’s not my problem” by an imam I went to for help. My non-Muslim friends offered much more support and comfort during this time.
Those horrible, evil infidels! An excerpt from another story:
One incident I will never forget is when my brother was coming by so we could go to Eid prayer together. When I tried to wake him up he punched me right in my face. I yelled out the window for my brother to come help me. When my brother came up to my apartment, what he said to me devastated me more than what my husband had just done. He said to me, “What’s wrong with you? What kind of wife are you? My wife takes much more abuse from me and never complains. She must be stronger than you.”
Welcome to Islam, sister!