A tale of Ham and Coke

Monty Python couldn't come up with this absurdity:

Youness Boussaid and Fatah Bouzid, both 27, launched a brutal attack on the pair after warning them they would “go to hell” because the pizza they were eating contained ham.

Ham is totally haram. However...

The victims left Le Mix Bar, a nightclub in Cambrésis, France, where they had spent the evening, and ordered pizza from a nearby food vendor. They were approached by Boussaid and Bouzid soon after, who offered the young couple cocaine.

Obviously, this has nothing to do with Islam because NO REAL MUSLIM sells cocaine. QED.