One of the key features of the clueless Western discussion that goes on year after year is that Westerners refuse to take Muslims seriously, on their own terms. In the name of tolerance, we show a profound lack of respect for Muslims, because we are refusing to see their reality and we keep fitting it into a false scheme which would make Islam acceptable to us. This leads the Muslims to feel both indignant at us for our blindness to them and contemptuous of us for the same reason.
I see this a lot. The gender apartheid, Jew-hatred and wet dreams of global dominance that is at the core of Islam is wrongly thought of as part of the belief structure of extremist Muslims by Westerners. Yet, it is the majority, mainstream Muslims who passionately espouse this nonsense.