Fluid Morality
Frisco in the Fog

Me, Me, and More Me

Mezba talks about relationships.

The part where he excerpts the letter of a mother and her 19-year-old daughter is particularly ugly.

A few thoughts came to my mind upon reading that:

  • Doesn't the wife have any respect for her husband?
  • Doesn't the daughter have any respect for her dad?
  • Doesn't the horny boyfriend have any respect-

Well, you get the point. Nobody gave a damn about what the dad thought or how the whole situation would have a deleterious impact on the younger girl. The overwhelming narcissism trumped all else.


[...] you would think as a boyfriend you would be a bit smart. If you are getting the bagging for the rest of the year surely you can go without it for a few days.

Oh, I think it was more about bragging rights.

To his friends, "You'll never guess where I did her last week!"

I'm sure the young couple will have a long and healthy relationship.



On the other hand, why should the whole family bow to the fathers wishes? Yes, he certainly should have a say in the matter....but at the same time, if the girl and the mother both think it's ok, why should they bow to the fathers demands?

Think of it another way: if the whole family wants to go to Red Lobster for dinner, but the father wants to go to The Keg, where should they go?

I know it's not a perfect analogy, but it's not a simple issue. In the past it was simple because the father brought home the bread, and protected the family. These days though? The old paradigms don't really apply any more.

Isaac Schrödinger

I think the girl has little say in the matter. It comes down to the disagreement between the father and the mother.

From what I've read, the mother didn't try to persuade the father. (For example, by convincing him that the whole situation is not bad behavior or that it won't set a bad example for the younger daughter.) She instead went to a "relationship expert" who gave her bad advice.

Had the husband done the same thing, I would've said, "He disrespected his wife." It's ultimately a matter that the married couple have to work out.

I do think he is right.


Gotcha. I agree, going to a "relationship expert" (especially one who couldn't even make 1/5th of her marriages work) over such a question is ridiculous. It's something that rational adults should be able to discuss and decide on their own.

I happen to agree with the father as well, I'm just pointing out that his opinion isn't the only relevant one here, and that disagreeing is not the same as disrespecting him.

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