A Question of Allegiance

Read this post before continuing further.

South Asian, Desi, Punjabi, Mohajir, Pakistani. All these terms are applicable to me. Yet, I am not defined by any of them.

I started to realize this odd truth around 1998 in Saudi Arabia. Our Arab landlord had refused to shake my hand when he found out that I was studying in the US. I was greatly angered by his disgust. It wasn't the fact that he didn't want to shake my hand but that he hated America so much that really bothered me.

During the months after 9/11, I was wounded, nauseated and stunned by the gleeful and conspiratorial stories that poured out of the Islamic world. Upon visiting Arabia in December 2001, I learned about the party-like atmosphere at my dad's office when they heard about 9/11. Note, these were largely the same wretched people whom the Americans had saved in early 1991.

Finally, I had fully understood the consequences of that atrocious culture and the supremely noxious religion. I discovered blogs in the summer of 2002 and I setup my own little corner in late 2004. Not only have I left behind my religion but I also have the freedom to defend the very freedom that I utilize. Thousands of hours of reading have only strengthened my beliefs. I am on the side of the West and I know who I am.

You see, I was born an American... just in the wrong country.

Comments

[*lynne*]

thanks for the link to a great post, and in a comment there was a link to another post that had me engrossed for quite a while. Excellent thought-provoking reading. The whole race&religion classification has never sat well with me, I might expand more on that in my own blog soon. Cheers!

[Mahsheed]

Hi Isaac,

I've been reading your site for a while and hope your residency issues work out.

9/11 affected me the same way and I lost my faith in Islam after that and became Christian.

It's lonely at times, isn't it. I'll keep you in my prayers.

[Isaac Schrödinger]

"It's lonely at times, isn't it."

In one sense, it is. I read quite a bit especially history and in the past few months a lot of people have supported me--both financially and morally.

So, I don't feel alone.

"I'll keep you in my prayers."

Thank you.

[Mahsheed]

I'm glad to hear that. :)

[Adil]

I used to be an intensely religious Muslim prior to 9/11. That awful day violently ripped the veil from my eyes to the reveal reality in all its rawness.

It was very difficult to make sense of it all at first. In time, the real 9/11 cataclysm led to an inner 9/11 cataclysm. It hit me quite hard, in the face of a dawning realisation, which refused to go away, that history was rapidly passing me by because I'd been stuck with the wrong crowd all along. It was a realisation that while I could move along with wherever the crowd wanted, it would not move along with where I wanted to go, no matter how much I urged it.

To this day, people question whether the world really changed on that day. But when my soul froze for just a moment while the rest of the world swivelled around me towards a new position, my personal world, which I had held so preciously, shattered.

I have not strived harder to be a true Englishman than since that deadly day of atrocity.