Mainstream conspiracies
Moral Legitimacy...


I got a haircut earlier today. The conversation between myself and the barber follows:

Barber: So, how would you like your haircut?
IS: I'd like medium length.
Barber: Not too long, not too short, just perfect, eh.  Good weather today.
IS: It's very cold.
Barber: I've been here 40 years. It gets a lot colder. I have a friend who went to Barbados for work. He lived there for only 3 years because he couldn't take it. He missed the four seasons.
IS: Well, I've lived in Saudi Arabia, so this is quite cold for me.
Barber: Really, Saudi Arabia hunh. I would have figured that you're from India.
IS: I was born in Pakistan.
Barber: Oh, same difference. Pakistanis are Muslim and Indians are...
IS: Hindus, mostly.
Barber: Right, Hindus. So, you don't celebrate Christmas back home.
IS: Christmas is banned in Saudi Arabia.
Barber: Oh, ... here you can't really avoid it. What kind of government do you have?
IS: It's a kingdom.
Barber: So, is that a democracy? No, is it a dictatorship?
IS: Yup, it's a dictatorship.
Barber: What's the name of the king?
IS: Fahd.
Barber: Faaoood.
IS: F-A-H-D. FA-hud.
Barber: Fahud.
IS: Yup.
Barber: Does the king have sons who want to take over?
IS: He has brothers who are next in line.
Another person walks in for a haircut; has a chat with the barber.  Few minutes pass.
Barber: You don't drink alcohol.
IS: The punishment for drinking alcohol in Saudi Arabia is death.
Barber: Wow....My son goes out with his buddies and they have a Muslim friend, Ahmad, and he's the designated driver.
IS: Yeah, by default.
On the radio: ...Right now the temperature is -8 deg. C...
Barber: See, that's not bad.
IS: Do you know what the record low temperature in one place in Saudi Arabia is?
Barber: No.
IS: 0 deg. C.
Barber: Hmm, what would the temperature be right now in Saudi Arabia?
IS: Around 20-25 deg. C.
Few minutes pass.
Barber: This time of the year is quite special for us. My wife asked me, 'What time are you going to be home today?' I said after 2. She is back home, cooking. We're going to church tonight. There are going to be 20 people in our house tomorrow. We're going to our brother's house as well.
Barber finishes the haircut.
Barber: He smiles and says, I am going to tell you this, Happy Holidays.
IS: I smile back, and say Merry Christmas.
Barber: Thank you.
IS: Thanks.

Merry Christmas, y'all.


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