Totally haram!

Russians cast off the gloom from the new Cold War with the West with a record-breaking descent in swimwear. Some 1,525 revellers stripped to bikinis and bathing shorts despite temperatures of only 5C in the spring sunshine of the Siberian resort of Sheregesh.

Skiers and snowboarders marked the end of the winter season by beating their own previous Russian record for the near naked descent.

Feminists and Muslims are triggered!

A poor, oppressed woman:

Crazy infidel girl

Horrible. Just horrible.


So delicate, so fragile

A supermarket is to introduce touch-free packaging to help squeamish millennials who are afraid to touch raw meat before cooking it.

Not from The Onion:

“Customers, particularly younger ones, are quite scared of touching raw meat," Katherine Hall, product development manager for meat, fish and poultry at the retailer, told The Sunday Times.

"These bags allow people, especially those who are time-poor, to just ‘rip and tip’ the meat straight into the frying pan without touching it.”

Generation Pussy.

A recent report by Mintel, the consumer research firm, found just under 40pc of young cooks prefer not to handle raw meat, compared with a little more than a quarter of the broader population.

What? Cooks who don't want to deal with raw meat!? That's like a surgeon who can't handle the sight of blood.


A devastating accident

The Tobins sat at a bedside vigil with a boy they thought was their son. The Labelles were mourning the son they thought they'd lost. In a town wrenched by grief, an identification mistake is just one more heartbreaking blow.

I initially thought that the hospital had made a really dumb mistake. Then, I quickly realized the full horror: the guy was unrecognizable because he was so badly mangled!

He said the family was told Parker had severe injuries, including a broken hip and “a big gash on the top of his head that runs from his forehead right back to the end of his head,” which “went right to the bone.”


Leave lions alone

This shocking footage shows the moment when a lion attacks a young girl in Saudi Arabia after dozens of children were allowed to play with the predator during a festival.

The video sees the children run around with the lion, when suddenly the game turns into a serious hunt for the wild animal, and it pounces on one of the children.

Just how low of an IQ does one need to have to think that allowing children to "play" with an efficient killing machine is a good idea? This isn't the fault of one idiot. A political authority, festival organizers, and the parents were all in favor of this lunacy.


Han Solo of Bangladesh

Maybe, he didn't understand the nuances of the mile high club?

A passenger on a flight from Malaysia has been arrested after reportedly stripping naked to watch porn before attacking a stewardess.

Shortly after the Malindo Air flight departed from Kuala Lumpur on Saturday, the 20-year-old Bangladeshi took his clothes off and started watching pornography on his laptop, local media reported.

More:

According to Malaysian website Star Online, the man also masturbated and urinated on his seat.

Was he on drugs?


"Chopstick grip"

No love for the alien:

If the hoverhand is the physical expression of a beta male feeling anxious and uncomfortable in the presence of a hot chick, worried she might reject him if his hand were to find purchase on her shirt sleeve, then the Chopstick Grip is the physical expression of a girl who is too repulsed by her husband to make full palm contact with his scaly back.

Plus, she's leaning back, away from the Zucks.


Just the facts

If you were curious about the Canadians and Brits:


Deeply challenged

Who needs enemies when you got friends like these:

It's called the No Lackin Challenge.

On YouTube, videos of the No Lackin Challenge show people pulling guns on their friends and their friends pulling out a gun too. However, no one pulls the trigger.

Early Thursday morning, a 17-year-old was shot in the head at E's cafe on Union Avenue.

Now, a moment of silence as the future Einstein has passed away.


Drama at Pearson

Friction between WestJet and Sunwing at Toronto airport:

According to WestJet, flight WS2425, returning to Toronto from Cancun, Mexico, with 168 passengers on board and a crew of six, was on the tarmac when it was hit by a Sunwing plane. Witnesses reported seeing the tail of the Sunwing plane on fire shortly after.

How can a pilot be so careless?

Sunwing says there were no crew or passengers aboard its aircraft, which was being towed by the airline’s ground handling service provider, at the time of the incident.

Oh. That makes more sense.


Halaal family tree

A 50 year-old Ugandan man has surprised all and sundry by holding a joint wedding for his three wives.

More:

In his explanation, Mohammed Ssemanda – a food vendor in Kasenyi landing site, a Kampala surburb, says he opted for the joint wedding with his three wives due to lack of finance to hold separate functions.

That would give new meaning to triple talaaq.

The man's first wife, 48 year-old Salmat Naluwugge, has spent 20 years with him and they have five kids.

She must be feeling really special now.

Others are Jameo Nakayiza, 27, and Mastulah aged 24 who are sisters.

WTF? Awkward question from a child in the future: Mommy, who is that woman? Oh, she's your step-mother ... and your aunt.


Nothing like Twilight

Tariq Nasheed will figure out a way to blame this on White Supremacists:

Doctors in Malawi have been beaten for carrying stethoscopes by vigilante mobs who believe they are vampires using the instruments to suck blood.

Medics have also been robbed and had their vehicles smashed, while ambulances have been attacked as patients were taken to hospital, a doctors' association said.

What a lovely culture.


Rape or rape rape?

The world’s first sex doll brothel has been bombarded with sick requests from perverts who want to act out rape fantasies and even paedophile abuse.

This part really puzzles me:

Sergi, 72, said: “Some customers prefer the service because they have a rape fantasy.

“Obviously we don’t want to promote this kind of activity.”

How does one differentiate between the "rape" of a sex doll and, er, a consensual encounter?

Also, can women act out their perverted fantasies by "raping" a dildo?


Very bad choices

A family is searching for answers after a 15-year-old boy and his girlfriend were killed in a police pursuit that ended in a head-on collision in Hamilton, Ont. on Thursday morning.

The fatal crash took place as Waterloo Regional Police were chasing a vehicle after being called about a possible abduction or assault of a female in Cambridge, Ont.

The sister of the boy reacts:

“I just need some answers. Something to help,” she said.

She says the actions of her brother were out of character, commenting that “stealing cars was his thing” but not “killing and abducting people.”

I couldn't help but laugh at that part. It's the cavalier way she mentions that her brother was into stealing cars. Seriously, how many automobiles does a 15-year-old have to swipe to get to the point where his sibling knows that its "his thing"?

And, of course, a thief would never ever kidnap a person.